Thoughts- in Brownian Motion.

le tourbillon de la vie

2012-02-12T15:57:00.001+08:00

le vendredi, je suis alle avec mon amie Steph pour regarder 'Comedie Noir'. Quand nous avons arrive a l'endroit, chacun a demande Steph: "Tu n'es pas venu avec ton petit-ami? Ou est-il?" tsk. Juste parce-qu'elle a deux billets, tout le monde pense elle doit venir avec sa plus-un. c'est bizarre, mais malheureusement, je peux comprendre aussi. c'etait un triste moment pour la celibataire.

i so have to improve my french vocabulaire. then i can tell more stories amusant en francais!
hope my passe compose and imparfait are in the right places though.

anyway, Black Comedy by Sheares Production was awesome! kudos to everybody for their hard work, it was a really hilarious performance. the story above was true too, however. its amazing how socialised people are, especially living in a hall full of people of your own age group; eventually you tend to think along the lines of the majority when dealing with the quotidian.

anywhoo, j'espere trouver l'homme de la vie tot! j'espere-t-il me trouve aussi! :D
et puis on peut se tomber dans les bras et chacun est heureusement et vit la vie en rose <3
haha ive been fully socialised too. but tt aint a bad thing ^^

lenin says: you idiot! (haha everytime i think of something im supposed to be happy with, a mental image of lenin will pop out of my head and chatise me for my gullibility and being cheated by capitalists. honestly, my ps lecturer prof yoshi is the best EVER.)

allors! assez de francais! ensuite, communications et new media, et puis, l'autre sujets! ^^

2012-01-26T17:20:00.000+08:00

life works directly the way you want it to/ you think it will.

confirm plus chop all the time.

cinq cent et un.

2012-01-24T16:04:00.002+08:00

how fitting that the 501th post is written on the 2nd day of the new year~
happy dragon year to all chinese out there!
not a lot of visiting for my family, but then again tts not necessarily a bad thing.
after all tt gluttony and merrymaking yesterday, i could do with a break.
the two kilos i lost from staying in hall has returned like some joyce-seeking magnet.

KIDZ, I AINT YO MAMA.

i know i made some resolutions during the english new year, but those are broken alr so imma try again.
1. take control of your life. simple as that, and dont let nobody drive it for you.

lets see how i break this vague puppy.

im lovin my chinese new year much more than the english one though!
i think cos dad is home this time. or at least all of us are on holiday and get to pig out on delicious goodies and watch movies on hbo for free courtesy of starhub for a longer period of time.
inception is a great movie for a new beginning, cos the movie ends with you feeling more profound and intelligent than before you watched it :)
and even though the first dayy of new year began with mom slamming the car boot door on my head and causing a tender orbahkah to form on my noggin i still have a good feeling about this dragon year!
rawrrrrrrrr.

today morning we went to macritchie for a little refreshing topo'thenewyeartoya walk!
although the main agenda behind that was for an awesome roti prata breakfast @ Casuarina Curry.
The good folks at the Casuarina have been making nearby property values skyrocket since imtoolazytofindoutforyoubutiknowitsalongtime ago.
as a dedication to this awesome year i ordered something other than plain ol' kosong prata.
BANANA CHOCOLATE! muhahahaha.

its something like this but bigger and better looking and absolutely divine.
picture's in my dad's phone, sorry guys.
for 3.50, it may sound like a ripoff but i can tell you i can put chocolate sauce and banana into a microwavable prata and it wont taste the same.

elise and mom following in my stead got masala thosais which were divine AND filling (although elise who paid 1.50 more for hers with cheese was definitely ripped off)

came home, had a good snooze on this delightfully chilly dragon's head day, finished the last of grandmas' delicious new year noodles and soup and am now attempting to deconstruck francis fukuyama's end of history reading for p.science, which is currently still beyond my comprehension. oh wiki~~

bye blogger, im off to find wiki!!

triste.

2012-01-20T11:31:00.001+08:00

got stuck in a rutt
in a hole with my butt
rammed 6 feet down.
im such a clown.

nothing like spontaneous verbal diarrhoea to get a beautiful friday going.
that's how wasteful i am.
i like to think that writers have blocks; normal people also must have pitfalls.
the shame lies in how i shamelessly wallowed in my laziness and gluttony.

hope you get well soon, its ridiculous tt you have to use this blog for all your moping and whining.

twitchy lil' ferret

2012-01-09T09:41:00.000+08:00

school! sem 2 of ay2011/12! 2012!

so many new beginnings.

although many things need to change in order to achieve my GOAL. MISSION. PURPOSE.

mrahahahhahha im insane.

bye bye 2011

2011-12-31T14:32:00.000+08:00

chingay preps getting increasingly more fun, because of the people ive met who im now getting to know. ^^

theres my fellow talented designers, the dear welfare comm who tirelessly looks after our lunch and dinner, the hardworking costume designers and the seniors and exec comm with all their advice, encouragement and when it comes down to it, saikang-warriorness to help complete props. good people. <3 oh and of course the choreos and engineers, but i dont see much of them :/

tis the last day of 2011, and its time for a review! academically speaking i havent done too badly.. considering i practically crawled into nus with my bottom-of-the-barrel grades i have managed a healthy looking CAP, although i can definitely do much better (curses upon the menopausal SEAS tutor). come on joycie, its possible to get a 5.0 CAP! i have secured sociology as one of my modules; despite me remembering an inexplicable desire to be a sociologist when i was younger, oddly enough im not having the same flame now. some how or other it just got snuffed.. perhaps gradually by adolescent ambivalence. anyhoo, still going through the bidding process to get my french2, history, and hopefully my remaining two nm mods. may the good fairies in CAPland support my cause.

i do, i do, i do believe in fairies!

was a little panicked by the fact that i couldnt bid for my nm mods now because its definitely in high demand, but ill take it as a blessing in disguise cos it gives me more time to check out if i really want to be a NM major.

a friend of a friend is a fashion blogger, and oddly enough, i find that awesome cool! her blog is really well kept also, with beautiful pictures and sensible insights on style and fashion. you can check it out at http://naked-glory.blogspot.com/ why i find her blog cool is because she writes with an opinion: its refreshing when you listen to someone your age who speaks for herself and at least knows what she's talking about. plus its always great when you find people doing what they love doing and doing it well.

im turning 20 next year. let's go, decade

new year's resolution:
1. take care of yourself physically. experiment with various styles. look pretty! (as vain as that sounds, your personal well-being will essentially affect every other aspect of your living.)
2. but look at myself in the mirror at most only 15 min a day.
3. use your voice.
4. be consistent and conscientious.
5. CAP 5.0 ( et améliorer mon français!)

summary: be reliable, improve, and go crazy.

think you can handle that?

life cuts like a knife.

2011-12-15T00:27:00.000+08:00

approval! :D

sometimes, i think i should stop trying to censor myself.. but i guess that will only come when i stop caring so much what other people think.

past few days have been filled with senseless humdrum.. cutting paper, inhaling paint fumes, fretting over designs.. but im meeting more people, and i think the designers have developed a stoic camaderie amongst ourselves.. wish there was more i could do to help though.

my brain cells are dying from paint fumes. need nuts.

all that jazz.

2011-12-13T09:53:00.003+08:00

beautiful mornings in my hall room with dad's 1985 radio blasting in the background and birds and wind and taylor swift.

back to the drawing board soon. i must get the hang of it!

whitewater.

2011-12-09T16:00:00.001+08:00

thoughts, still in brownian motion.
doink doink doink doink doink.
particles bumping into each other randomly creating a disorderly zig zag pattern of movement.

9th December 2011 - grandma's 77th birthday!
had a little dim sum lunch with extended family at asia square, or the city bank building where ah kim works. good, but expensive. managed to rush out a last minute present by means of store-bought artisan cake. but hey, its the thought that counts... i keep thinking as i try to assuage my guilty conscience.

but the company was what made it a really nice meal - always great to talk to joel and gladys, while mum kept ah ma occupied and ah gong looked like he was having a good time eating. the funny thing is as i grow older i begin to be less afraid of my uncles and aunts and begin to see the more human side to them, so i get along better with them now than when i was a child... which is an interesting benjamin button sort of progression because usually kids are the favorites of adults.
mom thinks that ah gong has begun to develop some mild dementia.. i really hope not, because while he still sneezes loudly and doesn't trim his nose hair, he still has a very childlike attitude and likes to explore stuff. after lunch we had to wait around for a while, but i offered to take a walk with ah gong around the very atas dining place: there was soup spoon, pasta mania and astons and all manner of salad and sandwich and fruit juice stores which the CBD class live on. and like the spunky eighty-plus year old that he is, he immediately got up on his walking stick and off we went on a little 5 minute adventure. he kept talking about how beautiful singapore has grown and how the government has done a good job and it sort of made my heart melt a little firstly because while it was a beautiful place, this was raffles place we were talking about and secondly.. that's the kind of old person i want to be, one that is appreciative and not bitter, and worldly in their simplicity.

and when mom and dad grow old ill buy them lots of supplements and heath drinks just like mom is doing for grandma and pa now. definite improvement; mom's health stuff seems to have sucked out all the oldness out of grandad: clouded eyes, shuffling gait, liver spots, bad smell, all that jazz. still has a hearing problem though :/ grandma's the spokesperson for graceful aging, as usual. :) except when she's ragging at grandpa.

designing for chingay is a challenging experience, with a very steep learning curve. and also goes to show what your level of skill actually is: squat. will try my hardest to pummel every bit of innovative juice out of my skull. yeshyesh. its frustrating to spend so much time and effort and material on something that eventually gets rejected... but like history professor prof dubois said, you have to have the conviction that you will succeed from the beginning.
dancing on the other hand was funner than expected, although the dance was hard to catch.

checked out the history dept's publication mnemozine.. and its quite a good read! have to go improve my english. expand my vocabulary. conquer the world with my bombastity!! muha.

je ne peux pas attendre pour se rendre a Shanghai et visiter mon pere! nous aurons un Noel heureux ensemble. j'adore le magie du Francais, tout ce que j'écris bruits si beaux. merci beaucoup, googletranslate!

christmas is coming soon! this year, some how i havent yet much got into the spirit of things.. just thankful for the end of exams, and the opportunity to spend time with my sisters and mom and later to go overseas! love having the luxury of time and choice... visited the wanqingyuan with mom and lynn, to the brassi photograph exhibition at nafa with elise, and to the dreams into reality exhibition at singapore national museum with lynn all of which were sooo beautiful.

sighs. no more hankering.

i have no ending for this, so i take a small bow. - george carlin.

crapadoodydunkins

2011-09-30T16:42:00.001+08:00

omg this new interface is cool.

its 4.42pm and im taking a lil sojourn at the forum :) just finished a really enlightening consultation with tutor Sandeep.i must say i have never really appreciated the value of consultation till now. within half an hour he just upped my productivity level and satisfaction for the day, and made me feel less guilty about later spamming of TBBT. huzzah :D

one thing i really have to work on is my speech skills though. i have no idea what has gottn into me since coming into NUS, its either some abnormal form of crowd shyness in this huge flock o' students, or that ive lost myself again (in this huge flock o' students)when i was trying to convey my ideas to sandeep, it came out like i have never spoken english before in my life. if i didnt happen to throw in a few polysyllable words here and there i probably would have come of as a PRC. jeez. stutters, pauses, all that jazz.
it seems (for now, at least) that some times my thoughts and actions do not correlate with my intended thoughts and actions. like my mute voice is stronger than my real voice?
don't care, just dare.
that shall be my new motto.
dare to reach the highest. :)

dad's back, woohoo! on the other hand, history on tues! grr.

ive gotten a closer understanding on just how competitive NUS really is. just now the results for our first NM assignment came out, and it had a mini panic attack.4? thats only a B PLUS!!!! HOW CAN REACH FIRST DEGREE HONOURS AT THIS RATE!!!!!!!! and i started calculating my percentile in class.honestly, its only above average.

hahah if you were a sane human being youd feel like punching me for being such a twat. but the fact is that so far for nm i feel like ive only been performing averagely. the curve for that sob module is freaking mt everest. and if the recent test is anything to go by, im probably still packing for the hike. gdmit. same goes for sea and historys. bleh.

j'adore mon cours francais, mais je ne peux pas bien parler. Je suis aussi inquiet pour les résultats du premier test.

for next history test, must march in as champion, march out as champion! Allons-y!

just around the river bend.

2011-08-20T18:25:00.002+08:00

the blog is working?! awesome!

ive actually been setting up another blog but upon visiting i dunno, i find i cant leave this one?
sentimental value.
hope it doesnt screw up again.

c'est une etudiante francais!
fun stuff. professeur sabine is awesome.
difficulties with the rs though, its supposed to sound like a gargling spit.
but im still on the sounding retarded level.

history 2250 is another awesome class!
info-wise, its really changing my perspective about SEA
i hope we really go ahead with the class excursion to angkor wat or borobudor
regardless, i must visit one day.

not much vibe from hy1101, nm1101, se1101.
lets see where we go from here :)
notice that theyre all exposure mods -.-
hah better not slight them though, later that remark might come back and bite me.

sghs, finding a clique before school started was probably a good idea.
the school is too big to manoveure alone.
not too worried though, this hasnt been the first beginning.

no news is never good news :(

xmen first class!

2011-06-08T22:37:00.003+08:00

xmen was an AWESOME movie!
excellent effects and scenes
excellent plot
and excellent casting :)
my favourites were Banshee (Caleb Landry Jones) and Prof X (James Mcavoy)
heheh initially i was quite surprised as i thought shia labeouf made a really good charles xavier.
OMG TURNS OUT IT WAS JAMES MCAVOY!!!!
this is the second time i really loved his character, the first was for a really good Tom Lefroy in Becoming Jane.

there is like charisma oozing out of his pores or something.

ice-skating for the first time today.
fell twice, kena orbahkah.
great fun though! was covertly (uhuh) sneaking glances where they were conducting classes in the middle of the rink. want to learn to skate backwards and try some tricks next time ^^

2011-06-03T10:27:00.000+08:00

pretty ladies

2011-05-28T18:36:00.003+08:00

dont you think the women below are really beautiful?
i stumbled upon the lady with the maori tattoo first and was somehow able to appreciate that she's really gorgeous even though the tattoo was a tad unnerving at first.
which sort of spurred me to look for pics of ladies from other cultures in the world.

while i have no qualms about different cultures' idea of beauty,
i do wonder why every culture in history has had to adopt an idea that subjects women to so much pain.
really, whats wrong with au naturel?
or is it some sort of innate gene in the human psyche that is just unable to accept that everyone is the same, and will grow hair, wrinkles and pimples all over the place if no grooming/embellishment is performed?
see, even i grossed myself out there.

maybe its the fact that from the start separate communities have had to distinguish themselves from each other, coupled with a generous sprinkling of herd mentality.

by the way, tribal tattoos look ultra cool ^^ the ancients did have some really good ideas.

to all my homies :)

2011-05-09T23:10:00.001+08:00

i like fullstop but why question mark i dont know dot dot dot.

2011-05-03T09:28:00.004+08:00

i found im a sucker for guys who can sing.

(high pitch) umbrella-brella-brella-brella ^^

days are numbered.
but that's only looking at the short term.
what does the long term look like to you? honestly i dont think ive ever taken a good look at it before. might have dreamed about it, but never taken a solid unbiased and realistic look at it. just look at the things im buying for a gauge:
the top things im spending any money on now is food and public transport. thats it. nothing that remotely suggests investment towards future endeavours.
THERE HAS GOT TO BE MORE TO LIFE THAN MOVING FROM PLACE TO PLACE AND EATING. goodness, its like im a snorlax or something.

there, youve figured out your issue.

facebook and blogger seems to be two conflicting mediums of social media.
after all everybody has only so much laundry to hang.
unlimited space for limited laundry :)
plus facebook seems to inhibit ones capacity to drone on and on about ones mundane topics.
all you have to do to express an opinion is to click onthe like button.
after a long absence from blogger its sort of difficult to sift out your thoughts.
and after youre done with that, you find that your feelings about any topic is either a) too personal, or b) to shallow to expound upon.

go figure.

going to china soon! missing my big sister :(

free hug anthem!!!

2011-04-28T15:39:00.002+08:00

thought i couldnt want you
more than i did before
but everyday i LOVE YOU alilbit more ^^
jls, my one-hit wonder :)

tree planting today.
or rather,
stand around and watch other people plant tree today.
what a poot.
still, not a total waste of time, did try to make myself useful ^^
and the satisfaction! sweet sweet satisfaction :)
of having come to a clearing and leaving it well, if not part of a secondary forest yet at the very least a place with more free oxygen.
my shoes are ruined though.

april is ending....
here comes a next phase.

2011-04-26T00:01:00.003+08:00

to all those who ever did me wrong:

"Father, forgive them, for they know not what they are doing."

and,

"even if you win the rat race, you're still a rat."

heartfull.

when i listen to this song, i seem to be thinking about everything, but nothing about this everything at all. haha therapy.

trills and runs and nicely shaped phrases :)

2011-04-22T10:20:00.002+08:00

this guy is my favourite pianist on youtube currently
sorry david sides, sunny choi :)
wanna improvise like him!!
but i think a good part of it is his confidence and easiness of the feel of his songs.

hans zimmer you freakingnana genius. dont we have a spare nobel lying around or something to give to the guy?

lynn has flown away. :(
nevermind, shes coming back on a boomerang.
hope shell be safe.
i think beautiful piano music is making me emotional.
can ukpiano come up with free downloads or something?

piano cert came in the mail yesterday :DD
so going to laminate and frame in gilt or something.
shows how life is so unpredictable and arbitrary.
when i compare the sweetness of piano prac vs bitter a levels.
the only thing that can really be consistent is the work you throw yourself into and your effort.
haix, you know where you went wrong.
but still, waiting for a miracle in the mail.

2011-04-20T01:51:00.002+08:00

i feel like forming a select singing club
where someone could strum a guitar
and we could harmonise and make beautiful music
and we'd start out sitting on cardboard boxes
but have a hellofa good time.
then one day after a period of curious wistful glances
we'd get noticed
and people would invite us to do openings for shows and events
but we'd decline cos wed be busy doing gigs for homes, shelters, schools, what not.
and we'd get recognised as a band
we'd be recognised as the band who operates not out of profit,
and go on to champion issues
not just singapore issues
world issues
and we would go overseas to spread music and champion more causes,
until finally,
we can effect some change into this world of ours.

proper nosh

2011-04-16T21:47:00.003+08:00

in tribute to some vfp getting married next week,
elise decided to try cooking some brit food yesterday!
a la Jamie Oliver.
(really she finally found his book in the library and just wanted to try it out.)

just four hours of solid proper mucking about the kitchen.
but the results were good :D

v

ecstacy

2011-04-15T00:30:00.003+08:00

OH MY GOODNESSSSSSSSS!
MERIT FOR GRADE 8 PRACTICAL
RAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHRRRRRRR SOO PUMPED
MS GAN, THIS IS FOR YOU:D

EVERYONE VALIDATE THIS FOR ME IN CASE IM HALLUCINATING.
M= merit. not moron right??
this is fully sick.
merit, i love you!!

2011-04-13T08:51:00.002+08:00

natasha bedingfield fix in the morning
shiok.

simple things,
right in front of your face
but not easy to find.

maybe cos im always looking right and left.

2011-04-10T13:13:00.002+08:00

macritchie with mom's cg today!
walked for four hours from seven to eleven.
awesomeeeeeee.
my legs and butt are completely not cooperating with me now,
but adrenaline is taking a joyride in my blood vessels so
sorry butt and legs! complain later!! :D
im sure they will.

btw, cgs are great for networking
now i know why this practice catches on so fast in churches nowadays.
uncle bin ho had some awesome pointers to share about architecture,
and had a good time talking to aunty joyce about ice cream and italian cooking classes while we were trudging through the jungle. :D

3 more weeks to tender.
the thing about this job that
its not the customers that screw you up,
its because of the people inside.
and its not like theyre bad people, theyre awesome people!
but in some way, whether directly or indirectly,
ill be screwed up because of them.
oh, we're all actors in this play called life. :/
i love the senior staff though, they rock.

lynn's going to china soon!!!
ohhhhhhh fudge.

EARGASM II.

2011-04-04T22:25:00.000+08:00

EARGASM.

2011-04-03T23:43:00.000+08:00

live for today.

2011-04-03T15:12:00.003+08:00

man i havent blogged for a long time!
a looooooonnnggg time

im trying not to worry so much about uni admissions
although the kiasu part of me is freaking out
april 16 is too close for comfort.
right and left people are getting their replies answered
while my application is still at received stage.
piano exam totally came at the wrong ime:/
well no point bleating and braying about things that hve passed and will never happen again. touch woooooooooood.

oh from now on im going to resist (especially when school starts)
addiction or urges to catch any particular television programme
that does not have immediate benefit in terms of knowledge capacity expansion.
because i am now convinced that whatever show that you wanted to watch but missed will always repeat on tv again. be it one year later or whatever.
watched formidable rivals on kbs till two am yesterday:D
and had no regret nor guilty consience.
compared to when i tried to catch it during A's
yeah im horrified at myself.

hmm.there were a whole bunch of things that i wanted to talk about
but it just slowly ebbed out of my head once i started typing.
kooky.
my hair still smeels like ash.
oh well. :)

more ose.

2011-03-26T23:33:00.002+08:00

im feeling a thousand shades of mixed up now.

dads been offered a new job! nice one dadd:)
but this one will take him overseas again
to shanghai (again)
honestly im sort of disappointed. dad's going to be hitting retirement age soon
he should be seizing the chance to get some good rest at home with us.

lynn is also going overseas to beijing for her three month internship
i guess the word is morose. im feeling morose.
im also listening to ellie goulding's the writer while thinking all this moroseness up in my brain.
which does not really help with feeling better

university applications are getting nowhere.
creativity, im going to make time and brain space for you
like what the article suggested. youd better come on time.
moronic lah, you.
youve been informed, warned and then shaken on the shoulder.
still not cured.

job wise, i honestly feel youre defeating yourself.
you keep thinking of greener pastures
true, its important to see with your heart
but also as important to see with your brain
and more importantly, your instinct.
balance the instinct to fly or fight.
manage your mind.

stage 6 in japan's ongoing nuclear crisis.
please be safe.

dad says its all part and parcel of life.
sadness and happiness, struggle and triumph, separation and reunion.
there's really no need to wax lyrical over the mundane of our daily life.
just like
there's no need to make gouging out a plastic spoon from the sink pipe
a whole lemony snickets series of unfortunate events.
by the way, the above did happen
i spent 20 min trying to screw back the pipe with my hands full of muck and was cursing and swearing at my dad who was still watching tv, when i realised that ive been screwing the wrong direction.
i suppose dad has a point.

which can be summarised by one of my favourite quotes from fruits basket:

shigure: you young people are always so busy struggling about your life, that you do not realise that if you'd just stay still, you'd float.

hatsuharu: but the only way to reach to this point, is to struggle until youre too tired to do so anymore.

sometimes, it still amazes me what you can learn frm furuba or asterix&obelix, that you cant find in say rudyard kipling or jane austen. it also amazes me how many people dont take me seriously when i make this claim.

on sidenote, aisyah, jin pei, yeeting and pohua are leaving!:(
only left a handful of us only..
must take it with a cest la vie attitude but honestly-
pooei.

2011-03-19T23:48:00.002+08:00

its difficult to feel sorry for yourself especially at this point of time
when billions of people are facing harsh living conditions and threat of nuclear meltdown.

crap. after that sentiment i have lost all my motivation (and material) for blogging.

its times like these you wished you had a mustard seed's worth of faith
that when you pray, someone is at least listening.
whoevers up there, please bless japan.

2011-03-03T00:48:00.002+08:00

cos i cant help it if you look like an angel,
can't help it if i wanna kiss you in the rain^^

dunno what it is about listening to people complain all day
that brings out the estrogen in me:D
or maybe i just wanna harmonise with someone, really badly.
i miss my school friends :(
but the next event i see them,
most likely im gonna want to be left alone.
dad and mom are always saying no use to be worried about a levels.
in a morbid way, im not worrying about them as much as i obsessed about my Os.
i think at that time there was hope for good results, but this time i have no hope at all.
dear god.

piano exam is coming up too.
for that, im going to pass it whatever it takes.
but honestly, its nervewracking also, thinking about how inconsistent i am.

meh, life has insecurities enough for everybody.:/

oh and for people who are always going on about how children are better than adults, in term of spirit, innocence,or mentality, i believe if you treat a fellow adult the same way you treat a child, you will see a fair amount to love and respect about him/her as well.

just food for thought.

2011-02-16T00:36:00.002+08:00

bliss is listening to david sides and not having to do anything but listen.

landmark forum:
change the but into an and.

i think if that was all i learnt, the trip down to expo would be worth it.

haix. how many pairs of glasses have i been wearing?

in the mood:)

2011-02-12T16:46:00.001+08:00

vrooooooooooooooommm!

2011-02-12T15:52:00.002+08:00

you think you know,
then you think you dont know,
then you think you dont wanna know,
and then you become like everybody else.

rahhhhhhhhhhhhh.
i defy you, lousy human way of life!

pretty diy!

2011-02-03T05:46:00.003+08:00

http://www.domestifluff.com/2008/10/how-to-make-pom-pom-flowers/

http://www.adventuresindressmaking.com/2010/03/blog-swap-leather-bow-necklace-tutorial.html

http://www.onepearlbutton.com/2008/09/reasons-to-celebrate.html

everybody's the same kind of different.

2011-02-03T03:46:00.002+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!
woohoo cny has something that christmas doesnt have
for one, you dont have to wait as long for it:D
happy cny to all chinese!

work is tough:/ but honestly, im maybe perhaps sort of possibly almost-there-but-not-really getting the hang of it.
does not mean a lot to anyone else, but IT MEANS ALOT TO ME.
its a steep learning curve.
but i think after the cliff it will be way gentler.
and then i suppose at that time id be questioning my ability to keep to the journey for another 5-6 months.oh well.
on a side note, i spent three years of my life yes maaming and no maaming and i cant believe im doing it again now. bleh.
on another side note, if you ever have a kid who is addicted to playing on com, send him to work with coms 8.5h a day, 5 days a week. that should cure him in a couple of days.

everybodys the same kind of different.
that's why its so difficult to stand out, in any circle.
for example fashion. like guys with skinnies and girls with tube skirts and wedges.
you may put on skinny jeans for the first time in your life and think
hey, this is the best ive ever looked and im rockin like justin bieber
(no need to do the stereotypical double-take and get offended, he's just a famous kid and youre not.plus its just an example.)
but to everyone else its oh, just another guy in skinny jeans.
not a sexist comment;
its the same with me and my beautiful-unique-gorgeous but just-another-pair-of-sneakers yellow sneakers.

how do you represent yourself accurately and yet automatically stand out at the same time?
besides being a smart pakistani kid who scores 23 As in his O Levels.
kudos to him btw.
i'll keep experimenting for an answer.

anyway, music-wise JESSIE J is finally getting more recognised!
i love all her acoustics. even her practice session ones.
i dont think her officially recorded songs give off the same real vibe as her raw ones though. for example, her song price tag would sound much more honest, if she didnt wear high heels and shades herself. and if the song came free:D

and, is it wrong that i like david archuletta's song falling stars? i think the chorus's melody is really romantic, even if the rest of the song is unmemorable and the lyrics really mushy. it'd make a good movie soundtrack:)

i wis i didnt have to work on chinese new year. :((( i guess i should be thankful for half days...at least i wont totally not visit my two grandmothers :D yest was maternal grandma, thanks for the homemade dinner ah ma! there was love in every molecule <3
oversnacked on crackers and sweetdrinks though. so what else is new.

today morning will be paternal grandma! hoping to crash her house early to help out with cooking. hopefully shell let us in. :D one thing about grandmothers is that theyre really territorial in their kitchen:/ which is a good thing when it comes to washing dishes but still makes you feel like a crap for not helping out.

oh well. im doing night(or morning) vigil for parents which would explain the ungodly hour im blogging. happy new year mom&dad, may you stay youthful and healthy, and may all white hairs shrink back into your head! (or something less gross-sounding than that.)and as a couple, i wish yall will be loving forever<333

thank you for raising the three of us with abundant love, and remember that i love yall lots and lots!...especially come march. oh god.

avril therapy.

2011-01-29T01:25:00.004+08:00

wishing my life away,
with these things ill never say.

alcohol is overrated.
a kid wouldnt drink it.

2011-01-26T00:44:00.002+08:00

ive finished wuthering heights! finally:D honestly it was a really good read; and total classics material, though its contents would have been considered blasphemous in the era of its creation. (and it was lah, wuthering heights wasnt an overnight success story)it sort of felt like the world's first horror story.

actually there wasnt much of a plot; it felt more like a study of human character, mostly heathcliff's. something like dorian gray. i mean if it was meant to be a bestselling thriller bronte would probably have focused more on catherine's ghost coming to haunt him, but that part was mostly left to imagination. the blurb said it was one of the best love stories in history, yet it is more of a hate story, full of revenge. morbid, in that you want to stop because each page is more sick than the last but you feel compelled to continue and get to the happy ending. i think it was a total let down that heathcliff didnt die a more violent death. like he couldnt have hurled himself off the cliff; he just had to die mysteriously on his bed. jeez, and after all the trouble he created.

edward cullen (or 80% of stephanie meyer) is a total headcase for wanting to compare himself to heathcliff. talk about gay melodrama. just because heathcliff was so violently in love with catherine does not make him some gallant knight on a white horse. and catherine is no better really, so bella swan (probably 99% stephanie meyer) is being a dramamama too.

favourite song revival! im gonna try memorise all my favourite songs' lyrics, tired of wanting to sing but being unable to 'b/c of the physical impossibility of singing today's prevalent lousy techno songs/lame lyrics/korean pop without sounding stupid.

all the same;
sick puppies.

I don't mind where you come from
As long as you come to me
But I don't like illusions I can't see
Them clearly
I don't care, no I wouldn't dare
To fix the twist in you
You've shown me eventually what you'll do
I don't mind
I don't care
As long as you're here

Go ahead tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's all the same
It's all the same

Hours slide and days go by
Til you decide to come
And in between it always seems too long
For certain
But I have the skill, yeah, I have the will
To breathe you in while I can
How ever long you stay is all that I am
I don't mind
I don't care
As long as you're here

Go ahead tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's always the same

Wrong or right
Black or white
If I close my eyes it's all the same
In my life the compromise
I'll close my eyes
It's all the same

Go ahead, say it
You're leaving
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
And do it all over again
It's all the same

my behaviour's not good.
not used to being me, around strangers.
but im brushing up, i promise.

roll my eyes.

2011-01-24T00:42:00.001+08:00

2011-01-22T16:53:00.002+08:00

went for nparks volunteer orientation!!
so awesome. essentially it was just listening to two guys talk but it was still awesome! got to meet lots of people outside my circle with the same interests; there were families and retired couples and career people-teachers and technicians and nsmen and financiers. the person sitting behind me was also working in starhub too! 0.0 but the best thing was, i wasnt the only person there waiting for A levels! there were at least four others, though i was the only lame one who went alone.

allan and paul (pple who gave talk) were super cool! they really knew their stuff, i really enjoyed the flora and fauna talk. its sort of like listening to mr yong go on and on about bird species. and its the first time i heard a guy use the word 'cute' so many times, in relation to this context. although the pictures of the slow lorris and wild boar piglet were really cute lah. i think i would love to work with nparks, in the future. nice office view. :)

quite proud of myself for getting myself safely to the nparks meeting place; on the way in to bukit timah there was this whole pack of long tail macaques by the roadside and i can totally understand why the neighbours are always so pissed. THERE WERE SO MANY OF THEM! totally living like gypsies. it was a complete family: mothers with the babies, alpha male watching you, younger monkeys wrestling about. and some idiot left them a packet of mifen.
pishhh.

well, looking forward to volunteering with nparks!

on another note, gladys left for italy to do her exchange trip! went to send her off yesterday night. cny family gatherings wont be the same this year..:( come back soon cuz!

first week of work has ended! mum's advice worked. jia you jia you!

and i finally got my hands on wuthering heights! courtesy of fiona.^^ now ill be able to figure out what edward and bella were so eager to compare themselves against. honestly, ever since the hype about the twilight series and the last book, ive come to realise that what peopleve been buying into is really 80% the author's fantasy. oh well.

muacks:)

2011-01-20T21:43:00.001+08:00

Kiss me out of the bearded barley
Nightly, beside the green, green grass
Swing, swing, swing the spinning step
You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress.

[Chorus:]
Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me

Kiss me down by the broken tree house
Swing me upon its hanging tire
Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat
We'll take the trail marked on your father's map

youtubes a blessing and a curse all in one.
can never get any work done when i have to go online.
all because of shinee and the nanny sitcom series :/
seriously joyce wheres your self control.
oh wait.

when we get together :)

2011-01-17T22:53:00.002+08:00

finally met up with elaine and ariel this holiday! :D
along with jeng yi and hong hui^^
met meng jiao at ps!!

ate lunch
watched season of the witch(3.5/5)
played monopoly deal!

season of the witch was surprisingly (and thankfully) good
since it was a spur of the moment decision:p
im glad nicholas cage died in the end after all the trauma, if not id be totally disgusted with lead actors.
honestly speaking, i thought felson (ron perlman)was more heroic than behmen(nicholas cage)although he was the stereotyped sidekick partner. i was more sad when he died, at least.

maybe cos in the chinese subtitling his name isnt as idiotic sounding. behmen was literally translated to stupid door. (ben4men2)
an unintentional dimension of humour! :D
shocked to find out that it received lousy ratings; it may have been cliched plotwise but the thrill-fun ratio was there for me.

monopoly deal is super fun! beginners luck=won first round. ^^
looking forward to playing it again!

well fun time's over.. enter working world. must not forget all my other holiday convictions though! havent been pushing myself for ages.
lets go joycie lets go.

train from nowhere

2011-01-13T12:49:00.003+08:00

class bbq yesterday was fun:) it was nice to see everyone again; everyone's still the same, but in a changed way. doesnt have to make sense.

but aranda is a really cool club! id totally recommend it for family chalet, if it ever happens this year. i guess it most likely gets overbooked in the holidays :/

anyway,

starting work next week! rahhhh.
nparks vol. orientation! rahhhh.
piano exam! rahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

ntu open house on 29th jan! who wants?

gotta drag myself out of the freedom-induced lethargy. cant fall back in.

lorong 7

2011-01-10T09:03:00.003+08:00

good food makes anyone feel better. maybe that should be the new definition.

yesterday morning was crappy; almost as if everyone's endorphins were still asleep or something and everyone was shouting and arguing and crying and then not talking. but then mum suggested going to eat at the recommended stores in lorong 7 and once everyone had some lunch in their stomachs it was goodwill all around. :D

i guess its the magic of good, cheap hawker food.

on another note, zha cai fan @ $2.20 = <3
the residents of tpy lorong 7 are sooo lucky :/

2011-01-05T14:13:00.001+08:00

evil evil EVIL twist of fate. i hope everybody up there has had a good enough laugh, because im going at it again.

GRR.

PARTY LIKE ITS 2011!

2011-01-01T03:50:00.004+08:00

ey 2011!!!!!! welcome welcome:D

technically the only important thing that confirmed will happen this year will be MARCH.
and after 2010, im not sure i want march 2011 to come. :/

now come to think of it, i have another exam in march! bummer.

well, its 4.00am in the morning and im really whooping it up.
joyce, you party animal you.

jet lag is the most amazing thing. napped for 3 hours before dinner. after having dinner, tried to watch the mummy returns but both dad and i fell asleep on the couch. mum tried to drag us to bed but we told her we wanted to count down. slept until one min before countdown, counted down, HAPPY NEW YEAR!, went to bed, and then mum, dad and i all woke up exactly the same time at 3am! (its 11am, 31st Dec in the US.) and ive been awake ever since. mum and dad went back to bed. lol

2011, so full of plans. how many of them will actually come true?

......:)

america, land of the beautiful..

and the big.

oh, recent piece of good news. i passed my first-ever actual group interview!awesome. lets hope i can resolve the after-part..

and cool shiat: the person sitting next to me for interview was actually my pri school classmate! we both changed so much; i wouldnt have recognised her if not for her name:D

all together now-

2010-12-28T23:51:00.002+08:00

this is AMAZING. and hilarious. and sweet. and hilarious once more.

hohohoho, hoho~ ^^

well, im back from the US of A! definitely feel more angmohpai-ed. but whatever, it'll wear off. the West Coast has been awesome fun! a big part of this would be cos of the people i got to meet on this tour of course. especially the tans, angs, engs, auntie and uncle quek and uncle ben and aunt selena! and tour guide auntie seleen and bus uncle DaLong made the trip super funny too.

america is truly beautiful. did some sketches of roadside scenery and the grand canyon which we visited. will post up later just cos im so proud of them:)) its the first time i ever tried speed sketching, quite happy with the result although there is definite space for learning. most of the people we met were friendly enough, and there was a great emphasis on individuality/ingenuity, whereas similar behaviour in singapore would have got you plenty of stares and unwanted attention.

of course america has an ugly side too. at san francisco there was alot of homeless people hanging around.. at least more than we're used to in singapore. most of them were african americans. to be honest it was my first time in such an environment which made me quite scared, because you dont know what to expect. experiences include walking out of a store, and suddenly being surrounded by police cos the person who came out after us was caught for shoplifting, being sang to by random people asking for pennies and witnessing some guy peeing into a dustbin at a crowded busstop. (and then an argument started between him and another dude scolding him for 'indecent exposure'.)our tour guide actually told us not to wander around at night, but i went out with my parents one night cos my mom's friends visited us. and then this drunk nutcase started shouting after us as we were walking down the street. of course we ignored him and acted nonchalant but all i could think about were aikido moves and thank goodness the hotel was nearby.

what i learnt from this experience is that singapore is possibly as good as it gets in terms of safety; while this is definitely a plus i think it has made me rather dumb on the streetwise department. its as though singapore is an alternate universe, and all along we've been living in it!

BUY FOR ME.

2010-12-11T00:00:00.002+08:00

i personally abhor overweight kids who wear tight clothing, walk around grabbing things in their pudgy fists, say "mummy i want" at a frequency of 250Hz, and CONSISTENTLY have a mouth the shape of a rilakkuma bear (turned down at the sides due to the suggestion of chubby cheeks, which is generally taken to be acceptable at toddler ages but gives older children the look of a bewildered obese deer in the headlights.) oh, and those who do not understand the concept of the phrases "please" and "thank you".

and while anyone in sales ( especially commission-based) wouldve regarded the child as a benevolent angel just for uttering those three sacred words, and begin plying the poor kid with odds upon ends of other overpriced, lame merchandise that he obviously wont need, and laughing indulgently/politely when he carries on his hitler act, i suddenly feel that i cant do it.

of course it helps that my pay isnt commission based. but whatever.

im feeling

VINDICTIVE.

and tired. and never going to paint my nails again. and disappointed at no emails. and tired.

2010-12-07T09:50:00.001+08:00

if i was powerless, perhaps it was because i couldnt deal with the responsibility that came with it.

2010-12-02T01:03:00.002+08:00

working is really, good. for your general physical, mental and social wellbeing.

perhaps that is the meaning of life: to keep finding tasks which allow us to integrate more fully into a community.

going to play badminton on the eve of work, after 2 months of total indolence is stooopid. confirmed. is wheelchair a viable mode of transportation to kallang tomorrow? :/

good friends are like pennies. given to you, they are loose change but personally found, theyre a windfall:) plus, you may forget about them for a while but somehow they stay in your wallet much longer than dollar notes.^^

i could go on and on waxing philosophical but my butt is aching. the funny thing is i could exercise like jane fonda and still gain weight; stress seems to be the only weightbuster for me. :/

another person in my life is leaving for India :(

my pinkie promised! :D

2010-11-30T20:33:00.003+08:00

naysayers secretly want you to prove them wrong.

the meaning of the word 'friend' does not follow a fixed definition, nor should you question another's interpretation of it.

having tea takes care of lunch and dinner. (to be confirmed)

not appreciating what you have till its gone is an inherent trait of man.

i feel like dark blue hair, but if i do i may as well become a bum for the rest of the holidays. what is hair to humans, that they would openly discriminate against one who had artificially different hair than they? no wonder everyone goes insane over balding/ greying issues.

people who smoke cigarettes SUCK. this statement is on a superficial level, where one would willingly partake in self-gratification even in a crowded area where he/ she knows everyone else would suffer because of it.

if utopia is impossible, what are we working towards as a society?

morse code beat

2010-11-29T23:14:00.002+08:00

heads we will, tails we'll try again.

A LEVELS ARE OVER. our next stop: UNI! (hopefully. i have this really nagging feeling i wont achieve my goal. today's phys paper didnt help things.)

i like children. i like childlike people. i dislike childish people.

putting on weight fast after A Levels. sigh.

it is the tired people who will change the world.

its a thought #1.

2010-11-28T12:15:00.002+08:00

"the world can't possibly end today, because it's already tomorrow in Australia." -Charles M. Schulz.

my favourite quote:)

i think that the green movement, rather than constantly focusing on omnipotent apocalypse, should concentrate more on humans being on earth for good. after all, we cant divorce mother nature.

rabbit/ duck

2010-11-23T18:46:00.000+08:00

to make people think twice, with just a stroke of the pen.

2010-11-23T18:17:00.002+08:00

econs was my worst paper this exam.

all ive got to say, besides

YESSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

living dead.

2010-11-19T20:28:00.002+08:00

im starting to have those psychotic recurring visions.
where i didnt get a single A for my A Levels.

eff the effing eff.

2010-11-14T14:45:00.006+08:00

brown-bag competition
cloud appreciation society (ion sky)
campus mag internship
paint shoes
mac ritchie
piano maestro
nparks volunteer
chinatown trip
painting ariel's room

this is my my-bad,-come-back song.

2010-11-13T05:51:00.002+08:00

it seems like ten thousand years since the last blog post.
cos i sure feel ten thousand years older.

this is kind of random, but if anyone reading this has used correction tape refills I NEED THEM. ALOT OF THEM. dont pretend you didnt read this and continue throwing them away please, when you can fob them off to me! im serious, throw it at my head or something. and anyway christmas is around the corner, so GIVE. i'll love you forever, and i'll credit you when i finish IT. :D

BROWN BAG COMPETITION. GO FOR IT!

does it come as quite a shock that im already halfway through my a levels?
why, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHOOTS. FINISH IT OFF. LITERALLY.

peter the rock.

2010-11-01T12:18:00.003+08:00

my mind works in ways that even i dont understand.
i guess i have to trust that eventually ill get myself there safely.
:/

on another note, ive been wanting to blog this real badly:
i only recently found out that my dad was an activist/THE in-house cartoonist in his NUS glory days!
WHATTHESARDINE.
him in his box-hair and bell-bottoms. :D respect.
i knew he joined the samaritans in his youth but thats about it.
anyway, he introed me to his activist theme song which is my blog song now.
just cos i wanna be a rebel without a cause. >.<
no, its really a cute satirical song. yay for cute satirical songs.
take a listen. that's probably how we're gonna end up. :/

2010-10-27T21:41:00.002+08:00

why are taylor swift's songs so nice-sounding even though theyre self-centred and shallow? just heard her new single 'speak now' and unfortunately, its a very nice tune.
i say unfortunately cos its yet another negative, whiney song about unrequited love.

i gotta say im sick of today's pop music scene. lady gaga, taylor swift, justin bieber, rihanna, nicki minaj, black eyed peas, katy perry, can you all just please take a sabbatical or something. and seriously, stop making any songs that have anything to do with love or sex, stop making songs that only talk about how pro you are, stop making songs about nothing at all.

the obvious option is to stop listening to pop, but since its studying period now im practically stuck 247 to 98.7 and 98.0 fm. and my ears are bleeding.

while im airing my dirty laundry then:

bob brown, you are a big arse.
silvio ionescu, you are a big fat arse.
certain china dude who is making my teacher's life hell: you are the fattest arse of the first water. please continue to live your cockroach life as uncomfortably as possible. im sorry, but i really hope you get your just desserts one day and afterwards, i hope you burn in noobland. (to write burn in hell feels kindof risky so near my exams, but here's one for you msgan!)

my blog's getting all dirty with all the verbal diarrhoea and venom spraying all over the place. haix. well there's not likely to be anything too positive till nov 29, so booyah.

why it always had to come down to this.

2010-10-22T09:53:00.002+08:00

because if it didnt, murphy's law would fail.

here's how my first week of study leave went:

grad ceremony. next day
HEADACHE.next day
FEVER. next day
FEVER+RUNNING NOSE next day
FEVER+RUNNING NOSE+COUGH. next day
FEVER+COUGH. next day
COUGH, BUT I STUPIDLY WENT TO EAT MAGGI AND GOT FEVER AGAIN. today
COUGH.

its like playing with stocks. excrutiatingly pissoffing.
plus the haze is one big dampener. shoot the bloody thing lah.
i should be glad i dont live in muar or somewhere where the psi is treble the amount in singapore currently, but still, it pretty much sucks cos im not getting any work done at all.

beggar thy neighbour.

2010-10-14T06:08:00.002+08:00

trash this concept of self-centredness. it only leads to retaliation.

todays the last day of pre-uni schooling.

i dunno whether to laugh or to cry.
maybe ill compromise and make it a sad smile.

OH WELL, TODAY AND TOMORROW SHALL BE CAMWHORE DAY.
who knows, i may muster enough courage within these two days and complete my to-do-before-leaving-nj list.
which include shaking hands with v.cheng, jumping into the fish pond to hug the fish, and hugging sp.

i wonder how come i was so sot last year.

i wish i learnt how to dance.

2010-10-07T21:39:00.002+08:00

man, i havent blogged in such a long time.
GOOD.

finished my rilakkuma bear! and its so maryfishing adorable :D:D:D
will post it up on blog next time. ^^

anyway, got back my prelim results; for once i didnt fail anything so at least i know im going in the right direction.. but on the other hand A LEVELS IS 33 DAYS AWAY.
how, you tell me.
kinda heartpain to see the big E shadow cast by my MT on my future cert, but i wont feel too bad about it.. cos if i retook MT from the start i wouldnt have been able to do alot of things. :)

hi pw grade, dont get too lonely ok! ill send some more kakilang your way soon. ^^
go joycie.

i love elli goulding's lyrics, particularly this one:

but ive got a plan,
why dont you be the artist, and make me out of clay?
why dont you be the writer, and decide the words i say
cos i'd rather pretend, i'll still be there at the end
only its too hard to ask;
would you try to help me?

:) sounds like a walk by the beach on a windy day.

today, i tried telling some people what i wanted to be
but the first thing they told me
was that it doesnt earn money.

i guess for most people, what they want to be when they grow up is synonymous with his/her future employment.
doesnt it occur to anyone that what you aspire to be can be totally unrelated to your job?
or is it me being idealistic.

another way to die.

2010-09-24T22:00:00.002+08:00

im halfway through my rilakkuma bear project! i know i made it an after-As project but no time like the present, right :) will spam pics after i complete the whole thing and blind everyone with my genius. and rilakkuma's adorableness. but seriously you need the precision of a neurosurgeon to do that damn paper craft. ive already had to rely on magnifying glasses and a pair of tweezers to do it properly.

haix i cant believe im going back to ms yeo's for intensive math. talk about deja vu. technically i can console myself by saying its not really tuition and thus i havent broken my vow, but its still gonna bomb a hole in dad's pocket. well, hopefully after this ill be more likely to get that A for maths, rather than be more likely to die trying.

i sense a need to boost my other subjects as well too, esp gp cos that needs alot of soul searching. surprisingly i didnt bomb the mcqs for my chem and phys, but that's hardly consoling, considering there are still paper 2s and 3s to get back, and the teachers arent optimistic. pleasepleaseplease i dont want the twin maryfishing Us anymore. go away. leave my econs alone also.

havent heard anything from the interview side, i suspect theyre giving me the pigeon. haix.. well i cant say i blame them. need to upgrade, fast.

piano sucked. my fingers are all weak again. yucks.

2010-09-22T23:32:00.002+08:00

got suckered by my grandma twice today.

haix. how embarassing. and sort of cute.

2010-09-18T07:20:00.002+08:00

ubiquitous is the most searched word in the Merriam Webster.

isnt that funny? the word ubiquitous is ubiquitously used. :D

hypengyophobia.

2010-09-18T06:44:00.003+08:00

i have been listening to kpop/ people humming kpop/ watching kpop on itouches/ watching kpop on iphones this whole prelim period.
maybe that'll be my backup excuse when i receive my results.
NO EXCUSE.

but really its been super distracting unfortunately.
especially tiko's horny goat dance. (lucifer, shinee)
i should try to take a vid. :D

or i should get vaynii to learn her dance too (mirotic, dbsk), then get them to pk, THEN take a vid and upload on youtube. :D:D
talk about viral potential.

anyhoo, two more physics paper and i can put this sorry page of my life behind me.
interview on mon! rahrharharhahrahrhrahhhhhhhhh.

eh tiko no. 2. im watching you.
its difficult for me to say the same mushy stuff without feeling guilty
cos i clearly dont know the extent of your pain.
so ill keep watching out.
bordering on the stalker-ish.
keep faith, and dont call the police on me.

here's to another page. for everyone.

not an excuse.

2010-09-15T14:49:00.002+08:00

what about now?

what about today?

i thought i was ok, but it was sensory overload. :/

that and an irritated brain.

yeah right. dont blame me, blame my brain.

prelims are halfway over. really cant comment about its progress, only that i dont feel that its different from past exams.. which is a bad sign.

2010-09-12T01:40:00.002+08:00

really, the less you know, the better off you are.
cos 'God protects fools, children and drunkards.'

i wish i were all three,
so i wouldnt have to give a rabbit's poo.

oh well. brace yourself.

if i know myself the best,

2010-09-08T19:23:00.003+08:00

i also know i can push that envelop way farther.

haix. sometimes its the ones closest to you who are bad for you. bad in a good way that is bad. i feel like convoluting that sentence even more but my eyes are tired. that previous sentence seems to have no link but actually there is a link in a no-link kind of linked way. im nuts.

anyway, no wonder they say
you are your worst enemy.
cos youre closest to yourself.

on a less serious note,

BIG THANK YOU TO THE ONE WHO SAVED ME (and another JH student. and celina) FROM CATCHING HYPOTHERMIA/DROWNING AND DYING A FRIVOLOUS DEATH BEFORE MY A LEVELS. I AM SERIOUS.

BIG THANK YOU TO SOMEONES PURE AND INNOCENT POSTCARD^^IM JIAYOU-ED.

BIG HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CHAIRHEAD!!! MAY YOU CONTINUE TO GROW MANY CHAIRS ON YOUR HEAD AND NOT GET SO SICK EVER EVER AGAIN. either doesnt make a lot of sense, but that's what a well-wish is for right. :D AND IF YOU DO GET ILL I HOPE YOU'LL ALWAYS ALWAYS HAVE SOMEONE TO FIREMAN'S-LIFT YOU TO THE FIRST AID STATION. :D

BIG LOL TTM TO THE STRANGER-GRANDAUNTIE WHO JUST UP AND OFFERED ME A TUITION JOB AFTER A'S JUST LIKE THAT WITHOUT CHECKING ANY CREDENTIALS OR SHITE. an nj uniform is good for something else besides running through fire afterall^^. im not sure if ill take her up on her offer cos i dont wanna screw up his grandkid's jc life/ future beyond but if i do i think ill try math and gp. :D:D:D:D:D
for once something fell from the sky in front of me that wasnt bird shit. even if nothing comes out of this THANKS UNIVERSE, FOR THINKING OF ME. ^^

oh and also BIG THANK YOU TO KIND TEACHERS WHO AGREE TO CONSOLS. :)

2010-09-06T00:25:00.002+08:00

harvard 08 and stanford 05 graduates are lucky ducks.

2010-09-05T09:29:00.003+08:00

stan walker is just a year older than me!!!

unbelievable.

something else that's unbelievable:

peter callasen is a GENIUS.

i hate this part right HERE.

2010-09-03T17:52:00.003+08:00

yesterday was the longest silence ever.
or im disgusted to say,
the longest silence which i didnt dare to break.

...............................

cant wait to do well and get out. that'll be my mantra. repeat 100 times before bed.

doodlespree-ed in the library today, it was shiok to just waste time drawing whatever. cant wait for after As when ariels gonna let us wreck her room.

cedar is going IP! i dont think it wouldve made much of a difference because almost everybody in cedar can get in there with their own effort anyway. plus its so freaking far away for most people. just that cedar will be more sought after as a secondary institute. :/

2010-08-31T23:09:00.002+08:00

somehow hooked to daughtry's feels like tonight.

sort of a sad song, sort of a happy song.
good rock song, good acoustic song.
a let-it-go song.

stoned throughout the whole thing when i was supposed to be poring econs.
funnily enough, i can picture people making out/getting married to this rock song.^^ oh well.

i realise im totally ignoring my self-imposed ban on blogging now, but im not really blogging about important things in my life now so i havent dishonoured any vow. sanctimonious nod.

everyone, tell me everything!

2010-08-31T10:16:00.002+08:00

and then, shut the F up.

black mood tuesday. act like a biatch.

2010-08-28T23:54:00.000+08:00

how to end a stalemate: put a hole through the chessboard.

frivolity.

2010-08-24T20:24:00.003+08:00

i cant study because

1. singapore is losing the table tennis (team) match 1km away from my house.
2. my chem mcq bombed ttm and mr wee's voice is harping in my ear.
3. im feeling fat, lazy and tired.
4. snarkiness is making me sick.
5. people's thoughts are making me angry.
6. long faces are making me sad.
7. im thinking stuff i shouldn be thinking.
8. im pissed with the healthier-choice people for endorsing products which are made totally from concentrate and have virtually no vitamins.
9. im pissed with myself for falling into their trap.
10. i just want to sip apple-grape juice and stargaze till i sleep.

samulah.

2010-08-12T06:05:00.002+08:00

yang tinggi kekenan, rendah kekiri, dalam satu barisan, paras.
this was always my favourite command cos i could just run to the right marker position and look pro while everyone scrambled to arrange themselves.

meh. too bad lifes not that simple. nothings going to fall into order on command and youre not likely to be at the top all the time. i dont know what kind of mood im in to be drawing life comparisons from footdrill. perhaps its nostalgia, or perhaps it was a weird brain jolt from sudden tannic acid influx.

in any case, prelims is in three freaking weeks. wish me luck.

2010-08-10T11:53:00.002+08:00

people need to stop dissing ms singapore each year. jeez. kudos to this years ms singapore for pure spunk and guts. actually in a twisted sort of way ris low was a pretty resilient ex-ms singapore also, except in the way of a superweed that wont go away.

that said, i have no qualms dissing the national gown she has to wear. at least its no pvc merlion crap of yesteryear, but somehow we just cannot seem to get our boomz factor right.

hmm. oh well organic chem time!

eureka.

2010-08-08T14:21:00.002+08:00

i found the answer; an answer at least.
whats a reason for smiling?
knowing that you can help other people.

why is it all the cliched, cheesy courtesy campaign catchphrases (woohoo alliteration ttm!) that make sense in the end? so weird.

im gonna start buying tissue paper.^^

.............................................

yesterday went to study with jeng yi at yishun lib. FAR MORE productive saturday than EVER. THANKS JENG YI! of course, the opp cost is that i didnt get to spend time with grandma.. still feel bad no matter how justified i think it is. oh well ill work something out.

managed to help two kids with their O level chem which gave me a big ego boost. im cheating my own feelings, but whatever. gotta take what i can get, while my own chemistry is WIP. ^^ GO CHEM.

man, now dad's back theres a lot less privacy. :/
and i put on weight a lot faster :/:/

but better here than there :)

who moved my milo dinosaur?!

2010-08-04T17:39:00.002+08:00

raghr everythings moving too fast!! it feels like im never going to catch up on time, whatever i do. yesterday dropped another bombshell; felt really shitty about pulling my class down, and letting mr lim shou wei qu cos the dean singled out our class for being the one with the most people in dangerzone.

UGH. PUI PUI PUI. its too bad that moe doesnt give out most improved awards at jc level, i wouldve totally been in the running for once.

and i keep forgetting, that this whole race is not me against you, but me against me. im sorry for exposing you to my caprices and prejudices.
and ill just keep running, just keep running.

lynn and dad are coming home on friday!!!! finally, i havent seen either of them for close to a month. dad's coming home for good! :D:D ecstatic but we're gonna have to start making some adjustments again. meh, whatever.

i wish there were more reasons to smile at school. or maybe the correct sentiment should be that i wish there were more people who would smile at the things i smile at too. i dont feel like im living up to my name of late. :/

on the other hand, my lian se does not depend on your lian se, so AHHHHWHATTHEHECK.:D

looking forward to the nation's birthday! any change from school is fine with me, even if i have to spend the hols studying. and is it just me, but is everyone obsessing over what bottom to wear with a red top?? ive even heard people from other classes wondering aloud. LOL life's mysteries.

2010-07-31T18:13:00.001+08:00

what do you think about when you dont have to think?

taste of perfection

2010-07-30T05:07:00.003+08:00

had a taste of almost-perfection,
and it tasted great. :D

im never going back to garbage again.

on the other hand, i have like 20% chance of making SCAMs. not good.

shake leg

2010-07-25T14:46:00.003+08:00

went to visit grandaunt with mum and grandma and elise at the nursing home today morning. i do believe its my first time in a nursing home! bleh, ashamed.
anyway, it was awesome to see her in good spirits, and to know she still remembered us, though shes not exactly hale and hearty. i felt kinda bad at first cos i never knew till now that she had fallen twice and had been at the nursing home for about a year alr, and this is the first time ive visited her in a while :/ we used to meet every year on qing ming jie to go pray, then afterwards she'd treat us to free drinks from her stall at beach road.

anyway, the place was very peaceful and airy, and the nurses were nice^^. if you were feeling saddistic the whole place looked like a scene from a holocaust movie with all the rows of beds and grandmas of all situations peering at you, bt it was really too tranquil to be malignant; the whole place was like one big benign house with the blood of a lamb painted on its door or something. peace:)

anyway, i hope gu po feels much better soon! i miss going to the temple with her. i dunno why, grandaunts are the special relatives who you might not meet as often or know as well as your grandparents, but you know theyre looking out for you anyway.

listening to gu po, mom and grandmas' conversation made me realise a couple of things:
1)we have to look after ourselves.
2)im surrounded by power women. yeah~ ^^

.............................

got treated to yoghurt from hh and ariel yest at raffles city :D the yoghurt was great, but tts cos we were sharing it :D:D thanks squaddies for your gifts! ariel gave me cheesecake~! i love cheesecake! haha shall put up pics of it here one day. anyway my whole family adored the cheesecake too. winkywinkwink. :D

(hint: cheesecake isnt a cake. hahahahahaha ingenious ariel.)

anyway thus ends the birthday week! haha no ifs, ands or buts, im 100% guarantee plus chop 18 years old now. ^^

...............................

singapore is a pro at making guilt-tripping advertisements. must be the same wiseguy at MOHA who's behind this spate of moral broadcasts. first it was the gambling one, then the drink-driving one, the smoking one, the litterbug one and now the YOG/family one. and i have no qualms about its effectiveness, just that its getting old. seriously.

when ali doesnt go to the mountain, the mountain must go to ali.
kick me out of my comfort zone, please.

it was too elaborate, this chess game.

2010-07-24T15:26:00.004+08:00

if the king survives,
but all his pawns and knights and rooks and bishops and his queen dies,

can he still be considered a king?

i hate confrontations.
but if it has to be, i'll meet you on the field.

mad world.

2010-07-21T19:22:00.002+08:00

emotions get so tiring nowadays. whats up with secret motives, personal agendas, double meanings, sideway glances, snubbing, petty hysterics? tired tired tired of that shit.

times like this, i just want to listen to jason mraz and laugh. no wonder my hair is getting thin. (yes ill laugh at premature balding if it is necessary.)

on a lighter note, yes apparently i have enough time to waste on frivolous things like my blogskin. :D originally i wanted a quintessential ageless simple kind to symbolise my coming of age as a more mature, more refined individual (turn to your left to projectile vomit), but i loved this one so what can i say? kudos to the maker!

and...boom.

2010-07-18T23:44:00.002+08:00

well, im eighteen! :D
no kidding, sherlock.

in all sincerity,
id like to thank the universe for not killing me off yet.

.........................................

yesterday was a good day:) got to go to the singapore garden festival foc cos i was helping out with greenlink! thanks ming xiu once again for asking me to come with you ^^ sherlene was there too to help out, and it was great to see her again and ask about all the post jc stuff. its awesome to listen to her talk cos its easy to see what her passions are, and how her actions directly translate.

sgf was awesome! although we had to man the booth for 4 hours straight till ten pm the time passed so fast i was quite amazed. i guess what helped was that our booth was a game booth so its more satisfying when people leave your booth happy. and i now know by heart a few more birds spotted in nj: eurasian tree sparrow, javan mynah, oriental pied hornbill, barn swallow, black-naped oriole, oriental magpie robin, bronze cuckoo, collared kingfisher etc.

it was a pity that we didnt get to view the whole exhibition though! we were stuck at a small edge on the fourth floor, didnt manage to see all the prize winning gardens on the sixth :/ but kudos to the organisers for such a beeyootiful fest! the venue was bedecked with 2m tall sprays of orchids and other horticultural displays, must have cost an atomic bomb. but it really was awesome, good for photos.^^

anyway, the whole event was quite surprisingly, a blast! i didnt expect that i would stay until ten. but we did, and we were happily dead tired. or dead tiredly happy i guess. it was a chance to hang out with some juniors, venezia and hui ying also so now at least i feel less guilty for not interacting more with this batch. yup. oh AND THANK YOU DR LIM AND MR YONG FOR DINNER MONEY, plus delicious CAKE and SUSHI! whooooooots.

im freaking out for A levels. a new guilt-trip gland just moved into my brain today. RAAAHHHHHH.

you knew what kinda hot soup you were getting yourself into.
tom yam.

2010-07-14T21:02:00.000+08:00

irritating teachers who dont keep their promises!!!!! ugh!!!!!

2010-07-13T19:57:00.002+08:00

I WANT A FRICKING PENSIEVE.
AND I WANT IT FRICKINGNOW.

i need to boost gp, boostboost econs and supersonictriplexboost physics and chem.
im so sorry sketching, youre gonna have to take a back seat.
im sorry dadd.

dad long-distance called yesterday only to listen to my shit results.
im a pieceocrap daughter. :/

2010-07-11T23:06:00.002+08:00

i dont want to go to school tomorrow.

in this sense, an 18 year old has so much in common with a 7year old kid.

i dont want to go to school and vomit over sets of paper stamped with a big fat U on them, and then say im sorry to my parents and promise to work harder for the next one while they pat me on the back and tell me to jia you.

'theres a game called circle and i dont know how,
im way too up to back down.'

and the best part is, you know youre down in the gutter for the next few weeks just for letters and numbers that dont even matter in the end, and overdramatized by extra vindictive teachers whose main aim is to get your ass to freak out. its not their fault, its a job they have to do.

in fact, i havent said this in 1.5years but i do believe it has to be said now: thanks teachers :) i appreciate you more than you and i are aware of i think.

one week till eighteen. thanks universe for letting me exist so long. but please preserve me from myself.

walk like your grandad owned the road.

2010-07-10T18:00:00.001+08:00

and dont it feel good :)

cedar spirit deep in my heart.

2010-07-08T22:13:00.004+08:00

i have so much to do, and so much i want to do.

such a pity that the two things are virtually mutually exclusive,
in which i end up accomplishing so little.

:/

yesterday i caught some saving gaia show on cna about a lady in china who actually managed to overturn the desertification of land in her hometown, and another uncle who invented bamboo-plywood as an environmentally friendly and safer answer to concrete.

i wanna do that.

my birthday next week! cant wait :) ive sorta made up my mind to join the urban sketchers if im free on 17 july, hope jeng yi will be able to join me!! JENG YI NI TING DAO LE MEI YOU?! hahax. also cant wait to talk to hh tomorrow, i think i understand now what she means about the feeling coming back. :)

hey. stop prosecuting people. lametard.

2010-07-07T17:50:00.001+08:00

silence will be my enemy.

2010-07-06T18:32:00.001+08:00

when did school become so draining?
im not even talking about academically speaking.

ugh. stupid stupid stupid stupid. stay outta my head unless you have something important to say.

2010-07-03T14:45:00.002+08:00

joyce's birthday wishlist:

1. blankbooks/ sketchbooks for drawing and watercolour
2. permanent markers and paintys
3. jeans/shorts/khakis
4. coolio earrings
5. piano books - potc/p&p
6. IKEA spree for goodness-knows-what and $1 hotdogs
7. WorldVision child sponsorship
8. plant a tree without being sued by LTA
9. victims win their case against Ionescu, the biatch.
10.deck-chair.

dad wanted to know what i want for my birthday and he wont take anything for an answer so apparently i had to make a list before he plies me with electronics again.
thanks dad though. love you :D

my dear poopyhead lil sis thinks the whole world should know she cant eat mayonnaise, chilli, eggplant, pickles, spring onions and onions, green veg and currently, high-calcium foods, so it owes her when they buy her lunch which contain the aforementioned foods. or in this case, dont buy her food at all.

tsktsk. whatta cute lame tard she is.

2010-07-01T11:51:00.002+08:00

GOOD RIDDANCE TO CTS.

im kinda in a dilemma. haix.
well, whatever comes out of it,
"i had to go to that place to get to this one." - eminem.
so A levels i dont care, im gonna fix you by hook or crook.

two feet in!

yesterday wasnt alot of stars to count. but i did find something else :)
and on another note seriously, page one is an undervalued bookstore. almost nobody seems to know about their gorgeous window seats, theyre always empty.

NAFA?NUS?LASELLE? what the fish.

to everyone ive pissed off, unless i had good reason to piss you off: sorry. meh. ive got an irritating reflex action thats called a jerk reflex. im serious.

2010-06-27T00:02:00.004+08:00

whee. its officially 24 hours to the start of cts (part II).
this will be the last post before cts, just felt an itch to blog cos of all the funny lil things/ thoughts that happened for the past week.

1)ive been addicted to shaytard vlogs on youtube! its inconceivable how i can find the daily documentary of an average american life so entertaining, but it is. plus, his family is super cute. babytard is adorable!! so is malikai, or dogtard i guess. :D

2) went out just now for a short while to go pray happy belated dad day to grandad. hope he heard and knows, cos we never really wished him fathers day while he was still around. my kid cousins are adorable, its gonna be sad when they grow up.

3)dad's back. :D and this time, good timing! can partay after exams.

4)just now, mum prayed for my exam paper to be so easy im going to flip open my paper and burst out laughing.
i love my funnymummy. ^^ but i have a feeling that if i burst out laughing its going to be cos the ambulance from IMH is going to take me away.

5)the cool thing about fifa being on during exam period while not being able to watch fifa is that you know youre not the only human being awake in your neighbourhood at 3am in the morning. seriously you can follow the matches without watching a single match cos the crazy people few stories below are super loud. must be high on beer.
but really, its kinda comforting.

6)i sort of cant wait for school. isolation is not my thang.

7)i love talking to my siss about totally stupid things. yesterday lynn was obsessing over random strangers with very warm backs. SO SCHWEET. or so stalkerish, but if you knew lynn itd be SOOOO SCHWEET. hahaha^^

oh-ohohohOHoh.

2010-06-23T00:26:00.000+08:00

thoughts wasted on you.

2010-06-18T23:43:00.001+08:00

freaking disastrous.

done waiting.

2010-06-18T11:06:00.002+08:00

sometimes it feels as though ive always been waiting.
waiting for big things, small things, people, things to happen.
waiting for signs, for non-existent perfect times.
waiting for people to catch up, waiting for people to slow down and u-turn for me.
waiting for things i want, waiting for things to go away.

i think im getting tired of waiting.
plus, my butt grew cold.

daydreams.

2010-06-15T21:22:00.003+08:00

had an awesome daydream in the midst of studying session with lynn.
a part-time travelling artist. pretty cool shit.
like maybe i'll be a corporate nerd who goes for long backpacking holidays and comes back with books of sketches and paintings.
like the pencils and watercolours in nao's travel log!
sounds like some clark kent double-life thing.
and the best part is, i can totally enivision it coming true.

then i'll sell my roadside sketches for charity
and make a name for myself :)

blue sky, black clouds, white moon = beeyootifoo combi.