The deed being done (and often happening unconsciously), it would result in a conscious homeostasis of being - a self-regulating body that strives for balance between what you think and what you do, but also actively corrects oneself when it feels that these two functions are misaligned.
It sounds like a very common sense thing, doesn't it? I mean the point of a conscience is to direct your actions as an individual. But the older I grow, the more i see signs that Fishbein's Theory of Reasoned Action (where knowledge (conscience/ what i know) --> attitude (what i feel) --> behaviour(what i do)) is a total ideal. There are some really severe disconnects between what I know (or more vastly, what i dont know) and what I do.
I'm nowhere near the level of maturity I want yet, so I have to rely on seeing it all sorted out in black and white if I don't want to over-ruminate and forget it all in a huff. So, here goes:
1. Overly egoistic: feel like a ball of hot air sometimes. there's so much i want to achieve and want to know, yet i turn around and say i have no time, i give up halfway, console myself that claiming to know everything is conceit. I have so many lofty ideals ie. artist, volunteer, try to make the world a better place, yet am unable to back it up with any substance or proof by behaviour.
* SN: in an effort to think more critically about current affairs I devoted some time off today to start reading some alternative media, in the form of Bertha Henson's blog. don't scoff, everyone's got to start somewhere. even if its in the final year of a social sciences degree.
**SN: I also sketched for a while today! again, i'm just as aghast as you at how happy i am at this molehill-sized achievement. you can guess how long i've put doing this off.
2. Overreliance on others: complexes of inferiority/ superiority that appear for no good reason in relation to others, particularly in group setting. like ughh why can't you be yourself?! Don't stay silent when you have an opinion just because you think others will not accept it; don't say something for the sake of saying anything. In this light, learn to think on your feet - to create clear, linking, coherent thoughts with justification. READ MORE, OBSERVE MORE, STUDY MORE. Let your opinions be heard in your own right and if they are shot down for valid reasons, accept it with grace. Dont relate everything that happens in a social setting as a personal affront or support. and oh yeah, speak louder.
Due to time constraints (coupled with an ominous pile of work knocking on the mental door of this author) I shall leave the internal rumination to be continued till a later date.
