Can it be I've not blogged for over a year? Incroyable.
For this year, not a lot of things have happened, and perhaps that's why I've skipped out on blogging.
I did visit Canada this year - arguably the highlight of 2017. I'm working with a completely new team from what I first started out with at work, and while I can slowly feel stagnation seeping in, there's really so much to explore - just not much direction.
Today I went for lunch with Granny, after a two-week absence. She wasn't in a good mood - kept going on about how she was growing old and slow, and to take care of myself, with an air of someone who'd been forgotten. When Dad forgot to drop Aunt at her home on the way, G bade him drop her off at her home first, then double back and drop Aunt home, although my sweet Aunt had a bunch of paperwork from office to clear. On the other hand, the kid cousin had been accepted to three universities, so G and Mom were singing praises about him having the smarts as an entrepreneur, although previously they'd been concerned about him not being inclined to study. I'm happy for the kid, but the double standard, sometimes... but its no point trying to explain double standards to people who were born before the term was invented, and subjected to this standard themselves. The better thing those being subjected can do, is to rise above it and don't let others define what your success is. Keep the nose to the grind and keep to your lane - and don't keep believing in yourself. As Gary Vanderchuck says - dont give fucks about others, or you lose the plot. (this guy is tough love defined - and to be honest, a refreshing form of motivational speaker.)
Nevertheless, grandma griping about her age still affected me emotionally, and left me feeling out of sorts as we said our goodbyes and pulled out of her driveway. ("Don't worry about me - i'll lock myself up at home and watch TV. That's all old people can do. etc.")
Growing up is a funny thing. Those values and traits you were taught as a child, you will find yourself employing them on those who were once your teachers. Empathy when your seniors are feeling down, impartiality and conflict-resolution when your parents fight, devotion to your grandmother who used to buy you lunch every weekend and iron your uniform, patience when trying to teach your mother how to set up a Carousell account, moral support to your dad when he tries out a new hobby, all bound up in self-sacrificial love. Nobody is perfect, but as always, it is the downs with the ups that make life interesting, and I pray that, in the pursuit of my own life purpose, I don't get too bogged down or stuffed up to remember the things that really matter and continue to express my gratitude to my giants, whose shoulders I've had the privilege of sitting on.
