its 2009!
there's been a lot of good/bad things in my life,
and with the passing of each year,
its just like flipping the page of a book
a book of which you are the author.
its a whole new blank page,
spotlessly clean and white, totally different from the blots and scribbles of previous leaves.
you wonder what you're going to write;
you dont want to spoil the page.
you make resolutions.
i promise to keep this page perfect.
immaculate handwriting, pristine pages.
it shall be the best page i've written so far.
i shall fill it with a brilliant story.
but all that happens,
before you make the first blot.
"oh crap".
"why is life so unfair".
"i dont want to do this anymore".
what do you do?
before i run off with my brilliant analogy, i shall just shoot to the point(s).
1. its a new year, new experiences. what can i do to change the mindsets of people ive alienated? not really much, unless i am given the opportunity and time to change them. and, its not like i can use blanko. so i wont be remorseful over things ive said and done, over things that ive hated and despaired, over things that i think arent fair. when such past experiences pop up in my head, i wont feel down or gloomy, but be serious because these are things to be learnt from; but be thoughtful, because i need to grow. flip the page.
2. a fresh beginning, a new start. different zones of comfort, alien territory. let me be courageous, to seek to find a home in new surroundings, to learn to find a family within new cultures. let me be brave enough to challenge myself, to aim high, to experience new experiences. yet, let me remember my resolutions through out the year, rather than to ignore it, to limit it to a flight of fancy or a passing shower. take the first step; put the pen to the paper.
3. as time passes, i may grow disheartened at obstacles, become lazy, self-piteous, pretentious, bored. let me take these boulders, and change it to become my stepping stones to improvement. let me persevere, and endeavour to take each challenge in my stride. if i throw away my book in anger, let me pick it up again and have the will to continue writing. if i moan and groan and consider quitting entirely, let me remember my loved ones and the ones who love me, and regain my fervour and passion. if people tell me to throw away my book or buy another, let me slap them. :) hahax, nah, but let me remind myself, they are not you, you are not them. let me hear their advice openly, but ultimately, remind myself that i will do what i feel is best, because i do not want to be negatively influenced; i write my own story and i own my own copyright.
4. recall my own passions and hobbies, as an artist, let me gain new insights and inspirations, let 2009 be a page, where it is full of creativity and imagination, full of originality and encounters. yet as a student, remember me my commitments. give me courage to make new friends, courage to keep the true (for there are no old) friends, and courage to reach out and touch peoples lives. let me appreciate my time as a student, and to take each new subject and schedule with open interest. to do my best by them, and turn the tables on a negative situation.
that includes my current engagements.
5. when i keep straining my brain for new ideas, let me remember this - "rely on the heart to see". calm down, dont concentrate, and
let the pen flow again. :)
ok. that's long. it sounds like a prayer, and i guess it is, in a sort of way. except that, it's directed to myself, telling myself to help me. im not trying to blaspheme (because i think freely) nor to aggravate or evoke religious debates (because i think freely, im not so stupid or insensitive, and i got better things to do), but i guess that's what it sounds like when you're typing to yourself.
ok. and lastly, let me remember this post, forever. especially no.5 :)
happy new year. despite crisises around the world.
