the title sort of popped into my head while i was walking home from tuition today. its sort of a comical insight to the purpose of our everyday lives...which was what, exactly?
had an epiphany yesterday during bio remedial, about my relations with other people. i find that while i get to know a person more, my moods will start to swing. i have no idea how to explain it. its like, maybe i am too accustomed to a particular person at one given time and then i dont know how it happens, but more often than not the relationship stales and then goes sour.
and this trend has been inexplicably popping out throughout my life, with my relationships with friends. of course, not every one has the same outcome, but its a noticeable thing.
and all through these years ive been thinking about it, and there were some bizarre theories that popped out when i was younger. maybe it was some misguided attempt at compassion, but i recall that when i was much much younger i had this mentality that i had to "recycle" friends regularly, as in not get too close to a particular one, cos there are a huge heap of unfortunate others who have not had the luck of being my friend, so i had to make friends with everybody. o.0
and then there was that theory of others stealing my friends in primary school, where i shedded some portion of innocence, i guess.
but anyway. THE EPIPHANY is that i realised the person who had been affecting all my relationships with others all these 16 years is not some unknown force of nature, but myself. seems pretty anticlimax after all that description, but it makes a HUGE differece to my perspectives now. due to my tendency to overthink and overanalyse, i start making several wrong judgements and thus hurt myself and others.
"to know yourself and your enemy, is to succeed in everything that you do." (chinese proverb) hopefully i'll take my own advice and wisen up. it was wrong of me to leave everything to overeactive paranoia and imagination and end up hurting other people.
"imagination is a killer."
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anyway, ive got my own copy of BREAKING DAWN by stephanie meyer. ^^
the one that i screamed so hysterically about when my lovely, darling elder sis told me about my present.
i've already got it all spoiled for me beforehand though (credits elaine)
so i wont be too tempted to ravage it in one go and waste it's money worth.
nor to ruin my prelims which is in 7days.
though i'd say that my prelims is already cmi. highest target: just to improve all my kannasai subjects, like phys, ssgeog, chem, and HMT. if i can improve all of them i wont have a care in the world.
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in response to my latest epiphany (see above)
i resolve to be less judgemental to others
and not to subject them to the everchanging caprices of my paranoid mind.
ACT LIKE A BLOODY 16 YEAR OLD ALREADY JOYCIE.
so i declare tomorrow, 060808,
JOYCIE-HUGS-FRIENDS DAY!
if you dont get a hug, thats ok.
its probably because
1) its not as if i'd track the whole school down for friends to hug down, if you know what i mean.
2) i'd feel uncomfortable to hug you/ you'd feel uncomfortable to hug me (yo, ariel.)
3) you werent subjected to the everchanging caprices of my paranoid mind. SO THERE! hahax. ^^
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anyway, this is Discovery Channels commercial, "I Love the World" (Boom de Ya Dah).
super super cute.
spread the love, yall. boom de ya dah boom de ya dah boom de ya dah boom...
"kinda makes you wanna ... break out into song?"
"Yupp." ^^
