there's a sudden influx of emotions that's spiralling down my brain now. sort of reminds me of a toilet bowl.
but in any case, its thoughts - in brownian motion. :)
i love that phrase. ^^
im feeling HAPPY
because today's teacher's day, and my ft mr ang received two informal awards: 2nd most caring teacher and most dedicated teacher!!!! i just know he's gonna get a big fat promo. who knows, maybe he'll become the next mr yau!
haha.
happy teacher's day, to everyone in the world! because everyone has been a teacher, in their own special way. :)
im feeling EXCITED
because when i was doing xiao jun's birthday present, i finally have some idea of what i am going to do in the holidays - which is to run an online business! i am going to try to set it up and do it all on my own, so hopefully it is successful. its a great feeling, because i was so worried that when the holidays come i'd actually back out on myself and not do anything productive nor get a job at all. with this project, im feeling more optimistic.
im feeling EXHAUSTED
i just am. do i need a reason to be exhausted?
im feeling DISAPPOINTED
ok, this is just my own fault, but im disappointed because i didnt see xj's reaction to my gift. its not just for vanity, but its also to gauge whether my standard is good enough or in enough demand to be sold. in the first place, i dont even know if she's happy with the gift. i hope so, :)
you know, i went to your blog. sorry you're feeling upset, and that you feel that all your cheeriness is a facade. to be honest, i knew it. its not that you sound fake, but more of that the cheeriness is too constant. for a period of time, i was sort of like that, convincing myself that i could be sunshine-daisy all the time, at least at school. maybe i could, but my happiness never felt as real than when i was at home, when i could let down all defences.
im sorry that i didnt take care of you as a friend should have. that was very selfish of me. be upset and cry if you want, cos i did too, on my bday! (in fact, so far that's three pple i know who cried on their sixteenth birthday. must be some wierd phenomenon.) but, i like the happy xj too. :)
ok, im being totally ________. ey xj, if you're reading this, im not gay ok! (i really gotta get a tagboard, even though i hate those things. nowadays, i feel like im talking to myself on my blog. roollseyes.)
i found this on the web- it really expresses what im feeling!
hey you! look here
and for once, dont look back
im trying to tell you something
mentally, to be exact.
hey you! don't turn
your back, at least not yet
time's a-ticking, we havent much left
so i'll need as much i can get.
hey you! i'm sorry
i've done it again again and again
trod on feelings, trampled on hope
and pretended i can't hear the pain.
you're moving left, and i to the right,
and the seed soon sprout into tree
i wont be able to tell you then
what you mean to me.
hey you! you can turn back now
i've said what i need to say.
thanks for giving me opportunity
before it all goes away.
by joan haversone
taken from Kinterland's Literature.
