this is one bullet-train speed holiday.
before i knew it, boom, and tomorrows the physics mock.
moomoo is right. i've already reached that stage of physics-suckiness, that my self-esteem has taken a huge blow, resulting in the fact that everytime my yau says "physics mock!" i start crying and everytime i answer one bleeding easy question {what's the speed of light in vacuum? ans: 3.0 x 10^8 m/s!} i start crying as well.
but that's ok. im going to make a comeback! except that now that i know ive gotten an A for physics prelim, its sort of freaking me out even more, rather than instilling confidence, if you can understand.
......................................................
dadd's gone back to shanghai. :(
obviously im sad, but more of guilty-sad, because we're the reasons my dad has to endure all this crap, like hostile china colleagues and inhaling lousy polluted air, and missing out on family and friends and good, nutritious home-cooked meals. but on the bright side, dad's only going to have to endure it maximum 5-6 more years, while lynn and i complete the few last years of tertiary education. heckit, lynn's going to uni next year!
isnt it scary? soon im going to be a breadwinner.
not so much of scary, i guess, more of stepping into a black hole in life.
ok, sort of scary.
i told dad about my plans to start that customizing business and showed him the pics of the file i did. i dunno why, but he looked at the pic and got this look on his face like he wanted to laugh. which he did, eventually, and pretty damn hard, too. i guess it would be funny to him, like Pele watching peewee soccer or something. BUT everyone's gotta start from the bottom i guess, and learn to take to being laughed at.
cos a worm can roll a stone, a bee can sting a bear.
a fly can fly around Versailles cos flies don't care.
-what little people can do,
les miserables
anyway, after giving it his professional analysis, my dad said he doesnt think that the business will be too successful, because its base is on personalizing, which isnt a very reliable market to begin with. but he still approved of me trying! see, my parents are so sweet. still, i gotta go and look in the classified ads soon, if im going to get a job in the hols - i dont really want mom to help me apply, like angela.
..........................................
i'm rather disillusioned. i used to read all those novels with downtrodden, underdog druggie characters, with messages such as money being the root of all evil and all that sappy stuff. now i find that these preachings dont really appeal anymore. sure, i do believe that money is the root of all evil and yeah, im sure there are guardian angels for everyone, but life is contradictory, and there are two sides of a coin to everything. like money can be used to build hospitals and to help starving people, and all that sort of thing. books, with all their messages, can only give one side of the sob-story.
ok here's an example. right now, if i was a character in such novels, i would most probably be accused of "adult cynism", where, reality kills my imagination and i'll never see peter pan nor the polar express again, yada yada. but hey, im still joycie, who let my cousins play hairdresser with my hair and have as much fun in the process. why paint adults as the sad, drab, emotionally-empty ones? growing up neednt always be a disadvantageous transition. people, irregardless of age, can be all shades of the rainbow.
you know, this all would be pretty anticlimax when at the end of the day, maybe it just turned out that there were no nice books that caught my eye, and im still as taken by these "feel-good" stories as ever. but nah, i was bound to change someday.
............................................
now, whenever i chance upon any of my rcy juniors' blogs, i dont have the curiousness to go and read them anymore. :(
because
a) ive already passed out so long (alot of things can happen in 5months, ok)i feel positively detatched.
b) even if i went to get info on unit happenings recently, that will just make me
I)super confused, II) super depressed III) super angry (god knows for what reason)
i swear, i wonder how its going to feel like during farewell. i dont know ANY of my sec 1 juniors names/faces. and how the hell are they going to write us personal cards??
its the same problem when i was a sec one, i had no idea what to say to most of my maams. the only difference is that i had 21 cards to write, and they only have 9. hahax damn brilliant :D
nevermind, crcy spirit is still deep in my heart, right in my soul, all over me! while i may not know my juniors, these 4 years of sweet and sour will still stay with me. and why am i even thinking about farewell, i got O freaking levels to go and live through first.
-lets go, lets go, lets go, yo!
